How To Survive Being in a Relationship With a Writer #MondayBlogs

It’s not easy being in a relationship with a writer. We are strange creatures.

Here are some useful tips on how to survive being in a relationship with a writer:

1. Accept the fact that you will spend a lot of your time together talking about people, events and locations that don’t actually exist.
2. When your writer wakes you in the small hours with an amazing new idea for their next story you need to wake up, switch on the light and let them talk it through. Moaning about what time it is, how tired you are and what you have on at work is not going to help your writer. This is a big moment for them, it’s the birth of something wonderful. Your support is needed 24-7.
3. Your relationship and their ‘writing ‘ups and downs’ will become interlinked. When their writing is going well you can expect good times, kisses and smiles. When their writing is not going so well you will need to go hide behind the shed in the garden.
4. Accept the fact they will always have a keen eye for any spelling mistakes you make.
5. When your writer emerges from their fictional world the best thing you can do is get them a hot, sweet drink, sit them down somewhere quiet and offer them a little food. Your writer needs to acclimatize to reality slowly. During this delicate time moaning at your bleary eyed writer about the state of the washing, the empty food cupboards and lack of ironing will cause immediate relationship discord.
6. Accept the fact that your writer cannot read a book without commenting loudly on the plot, characters and the ending. You may want to read in bed quietly after a hard day’s work, which is great, however writers cannot keep book thoughts to themselves. Face it you are going to be interrupted and disturbed during bedtime reading. Try getting some ear plugs.
7. Tread carefully when giving your writer some feedback on their draft romance novel. Think very carefully about giving your writer negative feedback like ‘that’s unrealistic,’ and ‘I don’t get it’. This is a minefield. Think – is it worth the pain and remember draft novels can hang around for years. Especially the ones which keep getting revised. Your feedback will be brought up in every argument until your writer has either shelved their draft novel or found it a home.
8. When your writer is hammering words and has a goofy smile on their face – don’t disturb them with ‘low priority’ issues like the dish washer needs unloading or the kids are squabbling.
9. Accept that your writer will want to reevaluate every spoken word whether that be in an argument about who washes up, playful banter whilst putting out the recycling waste or sofa talk about your best mate’s choice of holiday this year. We are always on the look out for underlying meaning or deeply rooted symbolism.
10. Accept that your own issues regarding your car, the state of the kitchen ceiling, tickets for the next sporting event you want to attend and your plans for world domination don’t come close in terms of importance and magnitude to the issues your writer is facing with their draft novel.

Being in a relationship with a writer is tough.