Ever fancied stepping inside the shoes of a writer for a few hours? Well, I have just the blog post for you. Writers are drawn to coffee shops so this is the perfect location to give the general public the impression that you are a writer.

Here are some useful tips on achieving that all important I am a writer look. It’s very bang on trend.

  1. Look the writer part. Two options; first – comfy clothes, wild hair (not seen a brush since you started editing), a bleary eyed stare, pale skin and muttering stuff about the pain of deadlines. Alternatively, turn to tweed – the universal uniform of writers. Deck yourself out in head-to-toe tweed (just like the 80’s author photos you used to gaze longingly at when you were a child and spent every waking hour at the library) and go write that bestseller.
  2. Your coffee order is a reflection of your creativity. As a writer you need to be ordering something creative. Make it wild, wonderful and overly complicated. Try something like a Caramel Macchiato, Venti, Skim, Extra Shot, Extra-Hot, Extra-Whip, Sugar-Free, and watch those behind you in the queue stare in amazement.
  3. Location in the coffee shop is key. Ideally place yourself by a window. Stare out of the window with a brooding expression on your face and sometimes mix it up so you are staring sorrowfully at passersby and then start typing or scribbling. Stop typing and return to gazing out of the window. Repeat ten times for maximum effect. It looks like you are getting creative inspiration for your novel from the world around you. No one needs to know you are busy compiling your writing play list.
  4. Pile paperback books around your laptop at the table. People will instantly think you are a writer if you have books next to you.
  5. Arrange your new stationery purchase on the table beside your laptop. Writers struggle to go write in a coffeeshop for a few hours without nipping into a stationery shop beforehand.
  6. Have two notebooks to hand. The first will have a beautiful cover but will be blank inside. The second will have a dreary cover but will be filled with messy scribble. Spend time staring at the beautiful cover, opening it, sighing, closing it, putting it down and writing inside the dull note book.
  7. Struggle to stay off Twitter. A love of Twitter is both a blessing and a curse for writers everywhere. Keep alternating between writing and tweeting.
  8. If any customers annoy your favourite barista / barista crush give those customers parts in your novel. This is one of the joys of being a writer. Tell your barista crush, when they come to collect your dirty cups, that you have taken care of that rude customer and when your novel comes out tell them to read page 46. As they cast you a confused look give them a wink and tap your laptop screen.
  9. Check your word count regularly. Writers do this a lot. Before you glance at your word count flex your fingers, give your word doc a wink and smile. Act as though your word count is going to blow you away. Glance at your word count (23 words), mutter to yourself and go back to working hoping no one around you will ask you whether your book is nearly finished.
  10. Spend a good hour trawling baby names sites for a minor character in Chapter twenty-six. This is vital writer work and coffee shops are ideal places as you won’t get any awkward moments with passing family members who might go into a light sweat at the site of your hunt for baby names. Writers struggle to start writing a character without a good name.

I hope this has been useful. Please remember these tips the next time you fancy looking like a writer.

Have a great day!

8 comments on “How To Look Like A Writer In A Coffee Shop #AmWriting

  1. Now to find a coffee shop to look all writerly in.

  2. This is glorious! Love it.

  3. Wonderful! As i am 24/7 on coffee, i should become a writer. 😉 Thanks for this amazing story, and enjoy your week! xx Michael

  4. Loved this! Can’t wait to get myself and all my projects to my favorite coffee shop. 🙂

  5. sharonledwith

    Loved #10! Too funny, and very true. National Geographic is also a good place to find names. Wink.

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