Following on from my tweet yesterday about asking for someone to start a notebook therapy group I have decided to do a notebook based post which I hope some of you might relate to.

Here are 10 things NOT to say to someone with a notebook obsession. These things will irritate us. We know we have a problem with buying pretty looking notebooks and not being able to write in them. We know our eyes glaze over when we see a notebook of beauty and we know our half filled note book collection is vast.

This is not something we can just stop doing – we need therapy! 😂

Based on my own experiences I have tried to recreate our reaction to these inflammatory comments about our notebook obsession.

I have also shown how a loved one might react after making the silly mistake of saying one of the 10 below.

1. “Do you really need ANOTHER notebook?” *emphasis on the word ANOTHER and coupled with an annoying finger point to the shelf / crate / room filled with notebooks* Our answer will always be yes.
2. “Why don’t you start writing in one of your old notebooks which are half-filled?” *Judging look from loved one* A true notebook addict knows that once a notebook has been spoilt there can be no going back.
3. “I need some scrap paper – can I tear a page out of one of your notebooks?” *Loved one’s look of horror at your death stare and scurries away sensing imminent danger* There are no words to this question. I can feel my neck and shoulders stiffening.
4. “Why are you saying your new notebook is…dead to you…when you have only written in the first few pages?” *Confused look from loved one as they listen to you explain about the mistake you made on page 3 and the ink smudge on page 4.*
5. “We don’t have time to go in your favourite stationery shop…” *Loved one stares in horror as you yank off wedding ring, stuff it in their hand and march into stationery shop* There is always time for a browse in a stationery shop.
6. “Can we have a clear out of all those notebooks in boxes under our bed?” *Loved one listens to you explain the importance of keeping every half filled notebook until the end of time.*
7. “I was reading one of your notebooks the other day and….” *Stops mid-sentence realising they’ve made a terrible error* Never ever read someone’s notebook.
8. “I’m sorry I rested my cup of tea on top of your notebook and now there is a stain on it.” *Grabs coat and leaves.* I make sure all my notebooks are kept well away from tea drinking loved ones.
9. “Why are you making strange cooing noises over a notebook?” *Odd look from loved one.* Some notebooks are so beautiful all you can do is make weird noises.
10. “Why has the framed photo of me on the mantlepiece been replaced by the expensive notebook you bought yesterday?” *Shakes head in despair* Some notebooks need to be on show.

Can’t wait to meet some of you at the new notebook therapy session.

I am nipping off to write a romcom about two lost souls who meet at a notebook addict therapy session and find love over a pair of A5, hardcover notebooks with intricate and eye catching designs. The crunch moment will be when one of them shouts, “it’s me or your notebooks!” *Ponders new book idea while lovingly stroking latest notebook purchase*