As a romance writer I thought it would be fun to create a mini job description.
Vacancy – Romance Writer
Do you enjoy writing about the first flushes of love and want to excite millions of romance readers around the world?
About The Role
Hours: Can vary each week. Dependent upon romantic feelings, number of love ballads on weekly playlist, hormonal fluctuations, writing confidence levels, quality of romance story ideas, social media activity, reading binges and marathon romcom film sessions on Netflix.
Location: Home based, although access to a coffee shop and a book shop will be required.
Key Duties / Responsibilities:
- Will need to be able to get emotional about the romance being crafted.
- Will need to possess the inner strength to break up a fictional character’s romance.
- Will need to be able to pitch a romance story idea to their uninterested loved one in the kitchen and be able to withstand the obligatory ‘ugh – she’s harping on about sugary romance again, eye roll’.
- Will need to be able to act on strong urges to go write some romance.
- Will need to be able to daydream OFTEN about being asked to attend casting AND make the final decision on the hot male character if your romance novel was turned into a film.
- Will need to be able to wave a magical romance wand over the most unlovable fictional characters.
- Will need to have the flexibility to take regular naps as writing romance can be draining.
- Will need to be able to withstand romance story feedback from an uninterested loved one, who struggles with romance in day to day life, and is busy watching sport on TV, and shouts from the armchair ‘unrealistic!’
- Will need to be able to come up with an array of imaginative reasons for not doing any writing.
- Will need to possess a good level of ear wigging abilities. Listening into the relationship conversations of others in coffee shops and queues in shops is vital.
- Will need to take notes during Love Island.
- Will need to possess the inner strength to keep two flirty, love struck characters apart for eight chapters.
- You will have been a fan of anything romantic for years.
- You will have had your own heart-broken, split, fractured and mended countless times, at home and abroad and be able to draw upon this experience.
- You will have encountered in your own love life an array of romantic dirt bags, flirts, perverts, sirens, goddesses, dream boats, studs, stallions, geeks, randoms, sexy weirdos, smouldering strangers, hot food delivery people, heroic car mechanics and teenage crushes. Again, you will be able to draw upon these experiences.
- You will be able to cry with your heartbroken characters and rejoice when they find love towards the end of your draft novel.
- You will possess an excellent understanding of the film, ‘Love Actually.’
- You will possess a strong desire to reach out to other romantic souls on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.
- You will love a bit of life drama.
- You will have a good working relationship with a brand of tissues.
- Your life motto will be, ‘everyone likes a bit of romance!’
- You will be willing to act out a few romantic scenes with your uninterested loved one in the kitchen, whilst they are busy making breakfast and not feeling in the slightest bit romantic.
Salary: It can vary. Most of us do it for free – sigh!
- You will become an expert on words used to describe lips kissing.
- You will get to watch a lot of romcoms.
- *Major perk* You will get to gaze GUILT FREE at beautiful people and pass it off as research.
- You will get to spend your days, writing, dabbing your eyes and singing Eric Carmen’s ‘Hungry Eyes,’ all in the name of romance.
We look forward to hearing from you!